Moustache dance – with perfect game face

Ladles and jellyspoons,

Apologies in advance for the mass email but please read on, I’ll keep this short (or just skip the next few paragraphs if you already know what this is about).

As you may already know, November has been rebranded as Movember to raise awareness – and money – for men’s health, specifically prostate and testicular cancer.

How does it work? Members start with a baby smooth face on the first of the month, and then grow the best moustaches possible, enduring all the weird looks on the way to work, the teasing at the pub, the comparisons to Burt Reynolds (that last one just happens anyway) and so on, and scramble for sponsorship along the way.

It’s supported by all sorts of businesses and charities, from HP Sauce to my local barber shop, as well as a team of Mo Bros from Wired magazine (which includes me).

Now, this is a subject that is (unsurprisingly) close to my heart. About seven years ago, I lost one of my goolies to testicular cancer, a chance to see first hand just how helpful the groups backed by Movember can be. It was a pretty shady time, but I was – and still am – incredibly lucky to enjoy a wonderful family and fab friends who helped me through with a sense of humour and a lot of love, and I learnt a lot.

Of course, not everyone is so fortunate. And an entirely healthy obsession with my crown jewels meant that I spotted it in good time and went for a check-up. Some people are afraid, embarrassed or just plain busy to go to the doctor about these things, others simply don’t realise in time so it advances beyond stage one without treatment – let’s face it, men aren’t generally known for being proactive about their health.

So, rather than harp on with stats (such as the fact 1 in 9 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime, or the fact that the rate of cancer diagnoses in men is considerably higher than then rate of women), I’d like you to do one of two things.

First is the haymaker you will have seen coming a long way off – please sponsor me. It hardly takes any time. All you have to do is go to and follow the instructions. If you’ve already done so, then THANK YOU.

Second, if you can’t do that (and please don’t feel obliged), then please just be aware of the message behind all this: Men should be more proactive about their health and, if they’re worried, go to the doctor and get it sorted. It’s better to know that not know, and there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. So encourage your friends and family to take control, get a check-up and get it over and done with.

That’s it.

Oh, and if I raise over £500 I’ll have a special (self-funded) present for each of my sponsors, involving the recreation of a certain Burt Reynolds on a bear skin rug photo. If I raise more than £5000 it’ll be a poster.

Think about it, don’t be a stubborn stubbler, and please pass this one to your chums and get them to help out too.

Yours hair-raisingly, and bristling with motivation,

Jack x

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