The guy quote – Spike Milligan

I’ve been a big fan of Spike Milligan since I was about ten and I read Adolf Hitler: my part in his downfall. There was a hilarious passage in it about he and his comrades had leapt into the sea while on R&R and played with their submarines. It took me about five years to work out there might be a subtext. I just rather liked the idea of loads of soldiers pretending to be marine attack vessels.

Born in India, and a jazz trumpeter and vocalist before the war, he was wounded at Monte Cassino and had a pretty tough time (I thoroughly recommend his books about the war).

After the war, he was one of the great comic characters around, with a wonderful sense of the absurd and surreal. As well as writing and performing on The Goon Show, he was a poet, artist, you name it. His healthy disregard for normalcy and rules in humour (and indeed life) a striking influence on me as a teen. Here are some of the things he has said.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string.

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.

I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn’t want to and he couldn’t.

It’s all in the mind, you know.

Money couldn’t buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.


[[ps – please check out some of my other quote collections here – The Guy Quote]]


A great interview. Very very very funny.

Spike, yes.


Stand-up. WAAAAAAAAY ahead of his time.

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